Week 1: “Oh, I’m soooo content with being single. The Lord’s got a guy out there for me who’s handsome and Godly and loves kids…
…so where is he?”
Week 2: “You know what?! Who needs a guy? Not this girl! I’m an independent woman who don’t need no man! And you wanna know another thing?!” *stuffs chocolate in face* “I’m cotally happy wif being thingle…” *Rant lost in mouthful of chocolate*
Week 3: Sobbing. Netlfix. More chocolate.
Week 4: “That’s right. Jesus. Jesus is the answer. Lord, I need to be content. Because You’re my true love. And You’ve got a guy out there for me who’s handsome and loves You and loves kids…
…but seriously, where is he?!”
Girl, Let’s Talk Singleness.
Does that schedule sound familiar? It’s because we’ve all been there.
Lately I’ve been thinking about some lies that plague all the single ladies. (Have fun getting that out of your head.) There are so many lies that the enemy can throw our way. But let’s talk about the three biggies.
1. You’re Late! You’re Late!
Because You Don’t Have a Date!
All of us can get caught in this one. All it takes is one scroll through social media to get the panicked sensation that everyone else’s life has started and that you are somehow behind. This doesn’t just apply to relationships, but is one of the places we feel it most strongly.
“But Megan has a boyfriend!”
Well hoo-rah for Megan (whoever she is). But Megan (insert the name of that one gorgeous girl you know who always seems to have it together and makes you feel like the sludge at the bottom of a day old cup of coffee) has a different life and therefore a different set of struggles, insecurities, and trials. I know it’s hard to believe that anyone with hair that good could have bad days, but trust me, she does. God has got a different road for you. And right now, that road includes singleness.
But he answered one of them, “I am not being unfair to you, friend…
Or are you envious because I am generous?”
Matthew 20:14, 15
2. You’re not _________ enough.
Fill in that blank.
The list goes on and on. There is a lie in our culture that says that singleness is some kind of inferiority. Even within the church singleness can be treated like a sickness that needs to be remedied. Every single girl has gotten these well-meaning reactions:
“It’s okay, honey. He’s out there somewhere.”
“You’ve just got to hang in there. God knows best.”
“God will get you through this.”
Holy Chipotle, people! I’m single. Not terminally ill.
This attitude toward singleness can lead us to the conclusion that if we’re not in a relationship, there is something wrong with us.
And that, my friend, is a lie.
3. Some are born single, some achieve singleness, and others have singleness thrust upon them.
Singleness was never meant to be a prison sentence.
I’m single because I choose to be.
Because here’s the best kept secret of singleness: Now is your chance.
To take that trip.
To get that degree.
To write that book.
To shoot for that dream.
To succeed, to fail, to soar.
Someday you are going to meet someone, and your futures will be woven together. You will take on the adventures and joys and griefs together. But right now you have the opportunity to chase God fully without any distractions.
Are you going to take it?
Or are you going to mope about the gift God has given you because “It isn’t the one I wanted.”?
And here’s a bonus lie debunked. Because I like you. 😉
4. Anything is better than being alone.
This lie has trapped so many women into a abusive relationships.
And it just isn’t true.
We get so worried about being alone. But there are worse things than being single.
There are worse things than spending a few years getting to know yourself.
There are worse things than going on an adventure with your Savior and leaving the future in the future.
Because Satan would love to get us single girls trapped in a desperate corner where we’re willing to settle for anyone.
Darling girl, your God has SO much better. Don’t you dare settle.
I am not telling you to wait for Mr. Perfect. I’m telling you to wait for the beautifully flawed human that weaves into God’s plan for your life. I’m telling you to wait for a man whom you can respect and follow and stand alongside for the rest of your life.
And until then, live.
Jesus came that we might live abundantly. Not maritally.
That means now. Live in the abundance of His grace now. Don’t miss one more second of this season He has given you.
From one single girl to another, it’s going to be so worth it. I have never seen the righteous forsaken. He who promised you is faithful.
A Single Contemplation
With one who takes the time to see
I have worlds inside of me.
For the wanderer not lost,
There are oceans I would cross.
Who fires felt and battles faced
There are storms still yet to chase.
With one who takes the time to care
I have galaxies to share.
But if you dissect my starry skies,
Fence in the storms behind my eyes,
Try to explain away my sun,
I’m sorry, Love, you’re not the one.
I’d rather bridge the great unknown,
In the quiet all alone
Than anchor to this tempered sand
With one who cannot understand.
So…what should we talk about next???
Leave your comments below. ❤